One of my daughters was over at a friends house a while ago and said she had to help a child do a chore so she could get what i thought was a large sum of money... she didn't get the money but her friend did. I was reminded that other kids get money to do things around the house, it's called an allowance and apparently to get the allowance certain criteria must be met.
Now there are many ways to parent, and all of them have their pros and cons, and i believe the best way is the way in which all active parents agree upon and remain unified while executing. That said we don't give allowance... we are not allowance giving parents, and i have heard the arguements in favor, and while that may work for some, for us we believe otherwise... but then our system is based on our system, and so for our system to work we need to stay true to it.
I value the lesson of being happy without the interferance of money over the lesson of learning to manage money at this stage of life. Clearly learning to manage money is a skill one has to have to survive in life, and i believe we are working on that. I actually fear that giving an allowance fosters consumer urges at a time when the child perhaps doesn't need to develop these tendencies. It's neat that one can save up and buy things, and in a way that is a good lesson, but it can also go wrong.
In the worst case scenario the only reason a kid is helping out around the house is to get money so that they can go buy some stuff that i may not want them to have in the first place. As we say in hockey... there is no "I" in team. If i need to pay my team members to contribute and pull their weight then there is something wrong with my team... in my mind. It is also true that my kids don't really need anything... if they really want something and it is reasonable (our reasonable and not the average consumer's reasonable) then we will get it for them. They have sports, we swim a lot and play outside all of the time, we do a lot of activities... they do alright. There is no carrot dangled in front of them to motivate them do do things that i feel a member of a family should do. From time to time i notice that there is joy in a job well done.
I never got an allowance when i was a kid, and i was expected to help out around the house. That's how i was raised, and I'm not sure i know too many people who get as much out of a dollar as i have in life. Of course i had a paper route... i had a job as a kid, and i don't think the job "paper route" exists anymore... it's kind of advantage "me". True i always had money... I had to get up at 5:00am on sunday morning to deliver the Toronto Sun before hockey practice, and i have always loathed getting up in the morning but i did it cause i wanted the money... of course i just saved most of it, perhaps because candy was so cheap back then... another disadvantage to the youth today. I also collected bottles as a young kid to keep me fluid... so in fact one could argue that my lack of allowance perhaps motivated me to step into the "working world" and see what it was all about.
My eldest daughter is soon to be of babysitting age, which will be a good test for her... she has all of the attributes of an ace babysitter and we will find out if she wants to work. Everybody wants a good reliable babysitter... if you are willing to make yourself available to keep your clients happy then you will learn a fine lesson in economics.
Perhaps there are advantages to giving an allowance, and most do it i think and that's all good for them, and perhaps there are advantages that we are not gaining. Parenting is a weird trip... in the end you have to do what you think is best for the kid, and given we all operate in different ways the answer surly varies.
My wife and i do not own cell phones, nor do we have ipads or "screen time" or a TV for that matter, sure the kids get on the computer and find you tube videos (gymnastic routines or cartoons) and i can deal with that. For the most part around the house they climb trees, read books, draw pictures and make up games... i figure the longer i can keep them away from staring at screens and wanting to buy things the better for them. You only have one childhood, why put a goalpost on immagination.
Now there are many ways to parent, and all of them have their pros and cons, and i believe the best way is the way in which all active parents agree upon and remain unified while executing. That said we don't give allowance... we are not allowance giving parents, and i have heard the arguements in favor, and while that may work for some, for us we believe otherwise... but then our system is based on our system, and so for our system to work we need to stay true to it.
I value the lesson of being happy without the interferance of money over the lesson of learning to manage money at this stage of life. Clearly learning to manage money is a skill one has to have to survive in life, and i believe we are working on that. I actually fear that giving an allowance fosters consumer urges at a time when the child perhaps doesn't need to develop these tendencies. It's neat that one can save up and buy things, and in a way that is a good lesson, but it can also go wrong.
In the worst case scenario the only reason a kid is helping out around the house is to get money so that they can go buy some stuff that i may not want them to have in the first place. As we say in hockey... there is no "I" in team. If i need to pay my team members to contribute and pull their weight then there is something wrong with my team... in my mind. It is also true that my kids don't really need anything... if they really want something and it is reasonable (our reasonable and not the average consumer's reasonable) then we will get it for them. They have sports, we swim a lot and play outside all of the time, we do a lot of activities... they do alright. There is no carrot dangled in front of them to motivate them do do things that i feel a member of a family should do. From time to time i notice that there is joy in a job well done.
I never got an allowance when i was a kid, and i was expected to help out around the house. That's how i was raised, and I'm not sure i know too many people who get as much out of a dollar as i have in life. Of course i had a paper route... i had a job as a kid, and i don't think the job "paper route" exists anymore... it's kind of advantage "me". True i always had money... I had to get up at 5:00am on sunday morning to deliver the Toronto Sun before hockey practice, and i have always loathed getting up in the morning but i did it cause i wanted the money... of course i just saved most of it, perhaps because candy was so cheap back then... another disadvantage to the youth today. I also collected bottles as a young kid to keep me fluid... so in fact one could argue that my lack of allowance perhaps motivated me to step into the "working world" and see what it was all about.
My eldest daughter is soon to be of babysitting age, which will be a good test for her... she has all of the attributes of an ace babysitter and we will find out if she wants to work. Everybody wants a good reliable babysitter... if you are willing to make yourself available to keep your clients happy then you will learn a fine lesson in economics.
Perhaps there are advantages to giving an allowance, and most do it i think and that's all good for them, and perhaps there are advantages that we are not gaining. Parenting is a weird trip... in the end you have to do what you think is best for the kid, and given we all operate in different ways the answer surly varies.
My wife and i do not own cell phones, nor do we have ipads or "screen time" or a TV for that matter, sure the kids get on the computer and find you tube videos (gymnastic routines or cartoons) and i can deal with that. For the most part around the house they climb trees, read books, draw pictures and make up games... i figure the longer i can keep them away from staring at screens and wanting to buy things the better for them. You only have one childhood, why put a goalpost on immagination.
